


Things That Go Bump in the Night

by owljustsitinthecorner



Series: Dragon Age Shenanigans [1]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Dual Heralds AU, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Faelis has ADHD, M/M, Mentions of Male Lavellan/Dorian Pavus, Mentions of Past Slavery, Nightmares, Not Beta Read, mlm author
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-16
Updated: 2017-05-16
Packaged: 2018-11-01 14:58:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10924215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/owljustsitinthecorner/pseuds/owljustsitinthecorner
Summary: Faelis Lavellan may have let his little brother take on the mantle of Inquisitor, but the weight of the world still rests on his shoulders. Each night holds the same monsters, but usually his brother is in the room with him.





	Things That Go Bump in the Night

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever fan fic. This series is to practice my writing so please tell me if you find mistakes and please give me advice on how to improve my writing!
> 
> EDIT: I have removed this fic from the "A Tale of Two" storyline due to the fact that I feel like it's not going to mesh well with the storyline I have planned.  
> Also the first part of the actual storyline is up if you want to read it.
> 
> EDIT 2.0: I have abandoned this storyline, lost the inspo for it and it felt like to much of an undertaking but i have other DA fics, and will write others in the future and i also now have a DISCORD SERVER because i dont have a tumblr/twitter

The nightmares were commonplace, normal even. And each was basically the same, even after the Breach and the destruction of Haven. Each had the same basics: Wake up in some unidentifiable place, realize the strange clanking is from the chains tethering him to the wall, notice the dead body on the other side of the room, realize the body is Fenlin, flip shit, wake up screaming. In all honesty, he would have been more worried if the nightmares had stopped. So yes the nightmares were common and he was coping and though they were horrible and a pain to deal with, that wasn’t the issue. The issue was that Faelis no longer shared an Aravel or even a room with Fenlin, due to Fen’s Tevinter lover and Fae’s own Qunari lover fuck-buddy. The issue was that when the elven rogue woke up screaming the Ben-Hassrath agent next to him woke up as well, immediately reaching for the ax embedded in the headboard. The issue was that when Faelis Lavellan woke up his little brother wasn’t there next to him. The issue was that he wasn’t breathing even as the rough rumble of the Iron Bull’s voice tried to remind him that breathing was very much a thing he should be doing right now. So no the issue wasn’t that he had nightmares, the issue was that what happened when he woke up was a bit of a coin toss.

“Hey, you need to breathe.” 

“I failed, I failed he’s dead and I failed, it’s my fault, I couldn’t protect him Fenlin is dead and-” 

“Faelis, count for me.” The tone is one of a firm request, the option to refuse clear but obviously not recommended.

“One, I am in Skyhold. Two, Fenlin is in Skyhold. Three, I am in Bull’s room above the tavern. Four, Fenlin is in his room in the tower. Five, I am in in Bull’s bed. Six, Dorian is in Fenlin’s bed. Seven, Bull is sitting next to me. Eight, everyone I care about is safe within Skyhold’s walls.”

Breathing comes easier now, the last dredges of crippling fear from the nightmare fading. Faelis chuckles and turns to Bull.

“More than you bargained for, yet?”

“And all the better for it, Boss.”

The elf laughs and looks around the room, noticing the debris, mainly the painting that matches one he saw in Adan’s apothecary back in Haven.

“Please tell me you didn’t save that painting when you pulled Adan out of the fire, I am really hoping that it’s just a coincidence and-”

“You’re changing the subject, let’s move back to the fact that you just had a nightmare about Fenlin dying,” Bull gives him a stern, imploring look as he continues “let me help you.”

“Nothing you can do to help, Bull.” bright green eyes stare straight ahead not actually looking at anything.

Faelis has curled himself into a ball, all the blanket wrapped around him like an energy barrier equivalent. Even though his eyes don’t move it’s easy to see that he is bouncing between subjects in his head trying to focus on one thing even as it slips away and other things demand his attention more. After a while, he evidently manages to focus on the one thing and slowly unravels himself from the blanket. He grabs his worry stone from where he placed it before getting into bed with Bull and stares down at his hands while fiddling with it.

“Can I tell you something, Bull? Can I tell you and know that this isn’t something that’s going into those reports you send?”

“Yeah”

“I was born a slave in Tevinter.” The statement should be shocking.

Bull sit and waits quietly, he knows that Faelis has more to say than that. Most of the inner circle had at the least a guess at Fenlin and Faelis’s past. The way the two go after Venatori with impunity. Most had a guess as early on as the discovery of Tevinter influence over the rebel mages. Faelis returning to Haven looking like he was ready to murder the next person who brought it up, and Fenlin glaring daggers at Cullen when he still pushed for ignoring the Tevinters and taking the Templars as allies.

“When I was 10 and Fen was 7 there was this small group that had planned an escape. They knew me and my mamae and told me to grab all I had and meet them. So I grabbed Fen and I ran because at that point Fenlin was all that I had. I’m fairly sure the only reason I did go with them was because I want Fenlin to see the Halla. One of the only memories I had of my mamae was her story about the first time she rode a Halla. And by some miracle of the Creators, we made it out of Tevinter alive. But we didn’t have any coin, and the slaves we escaped with only had enough to get to the south without dying. So we stole and scavenged and ended up in a shemlen jail. We were chained to opposite walls and I couldn’t reach Fen and he was so malnourished that he couldn’t stay awake most of the time.” A choked noise escapes from Faelis’s throat and he sees his hands shaking as they grip the worry stone. “He was barely breathing and it was my fault. I got caught and he was with me.” 

Calloused thumbs stroke the lines of his cheekbones, wiping away tears he didn’t know he had the energy to shed. Bull’s arms wrap around the shaking elf and pull him close to a broad chest. More choked noises come out and the hand missing a few fingers moves to rub lightly at pale skin stretched over ribs, a silent reminder to breathe.

“It wasn’t your fault, Kadan. You were trying to stay alive, you are not at fault for trying your hardest to stay alive.”

“I know that in theory,” Faelis says with a wet chuckle “but sometimes knowing isn’t enough.”

Bull’s other hand moves up to Faelis’s head, brushing against pointed ears as they settle into the long auburn hair and scratch his scalp gently, occasionally dipping down to rub at shaved sides.

“My biggest worry before getting got was how I was going to find my mamae’s clan.” Fae states sounding frustrated with himself. “Her name was Marileth Lavellan. I memorized it and made sure that I alway had the necklace that belonged to her, I originally thought it was a gift from her sister. And if I had just focused on the lift, if I had stayed focused, if I hadn’t been  _ distracted. _ ” 

The last word is said with such anger that Bull stills his hand. “Faelis.”

“I know, I'm sorry, I just- I know that when it comes to my head and how distracted I get that it’s not my fault, but Fen almost died and I just-”

A beat of silence passes before Bull speaks “Faelis?”

“Yeah?”

“You mentioned once that giving a story a happy ending helps you to cope.”

“Yeah?” Fae asks as he looks up at Bull with a pinched expression.

“So what’s the happy ending to your story?”

The archer turns away and thinks for a few moments, concentrating. Slowly a soft smile spreads across his face and shifts to look at Bull and still curl into the Qunari’s side.

“The city we landed upon as a group was Wycome. After we got out I saw an elf with tattoos on her face that were the exact same design my mother had and I practically tackled her. Talked really fast like I usually do when I get excited, most of it was probably incomprehensible. She gave Fenlin and I this strained smile and asked us where our parents were, and Felin, without missing a beat, bluntly stated ‘Dead.’ You know that look he gets when he doesn’t want anyone to know he’s hurting, right?” Green eyes look expectantly up at Bull, who nods. “Well after he said that she went all stony faced and went to turn away. I panicked slightly-”

“You? Panic? I’m surprised!”

Faelis wacks Bull’s chest with the back of his hand “Hush. I panicked shouted ‘My mamae was Merileth Lavellan! Please help me, I need to find her clan!’ and thrust my hand into her face, holding my mother’s necklace.”

“Thrust?”

“I said  _ hush. _ ” Fae scolds, laughing, “She practically jumped out of her skin when I said that. Got this haunted look on her face and stared at the necklace for a solid minute, which to me felt like six hours. Once she got over her shock she grabbed Fen and I and took as around the marketplace finishing up the trading she had to do with the shemlen before leaving the city with us in tow. When we met up with the clan after a day or two of traveling she passed us off to the Keeper and had me explain who I was. Right after she left and I was scared shitless.”

“Understandable”

“And Fenlin still had that blank ‘i am not mentally present for this conversation’ facial expression.”

“Doubly understandable”

“But the scariest part was after I explain who I was to the Keeper, with far less enthusiasm this time, another woman ran over and picked me into a rib crushing hug and started crying. Through the hug, I saw the one I found in the marketplace trailing behind.” Giggles overtake the sleepy elf, “Turns out that the Dalish I spotted was the bondmate of my mother’s best friend. She looked right at the Keeper and said that she was going to raise me, I looked her dead in the eye and said ‘And Fenlin too, we don't have the same parents but he is my brother and no one is going to separate us.’ She smiled brightly and agreed. Found out later that she gifted my mom that necklace after their first hunt.”

“Pretty sure if you told Varric this story he’d be jealous of that happy ending.”

Faelis laughs brightly and curls further into Bull’s side. The two sit silently in the dark for a while, Faelis looking all over the dark room only resting on an object for a few moments before jumping to the next, occasionally returning to some and skipping over others entirely.

Suddenly Fae sits up straight and whips his head to look up at Bull “Wait a second, what did that word mean? The one you called me earlier? Ka?- Kadar? Kadel?”

“Kadan.” Bull corrects smiling softly at the freckled elf.

“What’s it mean?”

“My heart. Means something different than most think, though. It’s more literal, you use it in reference to something you can't live without, just like you can't live without your heart. You can use it for superiors, friends -”

“Lovers?” Faelis asks a strange lilt to his tone.

“Yeah.”

“Huh.” He smiles at Bull before yawning loudly “Well then, vhenan, I think we should try to go back to sleep.”

“Isn’t that the word Fenlin uses on the Vint?”

“Yes know lay down so I can use you as a pillow.”

With a hearty laugh, he obliges. “Sleep well, kadan.”

“Creators willing.”

Nightmares are common, normal even. And each was essentially the same. But even if at some point they change to match the horrors he faces as one of two Heralds, there will be someone there to remind him to breathe and count.


End file.
